Subject: Message from Animal via his production company
Oi Miranda, yes you!!
I would prefer to scream at you in person, to really show you my insane rage at your article of 27th January. But, since the release of your ridiculous story in Marketing suggesting my impending "death," I have been too busy dealing with all of the distraught messages from my traumatized family, friends and sausage fans, calling to see if I am still alive!!
I have no idea where your ‘sources' for such a ridiculous story came from, but I suggest you mince them immediately as they clearly have absolutely no idea what they are talking about, and are likely to land you in a great deal of trouble (yes... even more than you are in now) in the future.
Seeing as I couldn't make it down to see you in person I have enclosed a picture and video clip of me, to prove to you that I am still very much alive and kicking.
If you have any more thoughts that I may be about to ‘pop my clogs' then you could always give me a bell and my very helpful (if not a little weighed down with death queries these days) PA will be sure to vouch for my existence.
I look forward to ranting at you in person later in the year.
I will most certainly be having some fun in 2009...
Sincerely,
Animal
Editor's response: Hey Animal, we never said you were being killed off, only that you were being repositioned as a healthier snack.
MXO 2009 Peperami Animal replies
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