Here's our initial list, in no particular order. Please cast your votes or add your nominations at the bottom, to help us craft the list of unnecessary fmcg products.
Andrex's ‘On the Go' toilet tissue
Yes, it's loo paper without the pesky hollow paper tube in the middle. Perhaps the greatest innovation to cleanliness since the Romans introduced a sponge on a stick to our green and pleasant land. Is there a genuine marketing need for loo roll on the go? We remain sceptical.
But don't think that just because Andrex On the Go lacks a hollow tube, that it's not convenient. By following the origami-style instructions on the back, the packing can be turned into a portable loo-roll dispenser. And it's an affordable luxury in the credit crunch. The 55 sheets cost 99p, versus four standard rolls of Andrex for £2.18.
Oakland Farm Eggs' Egg In An Instant
For those who find it too challenging to crack open an egg, they can now buy fresh liquid eggs in a carton. There are an average of 10 whole eggs per half litre, which will last up to 21 days unopened and three days after first opening. Just don't drink it accidentally.
Tesco ready meal: 2 Baked Potatoes with Cheese
If the idea of crossing a potato and shoving a chunk of cheese is too much of a fuss, this Tesco ready meal might be a bargain at £1.84. But then again this is from the supermarket that served up Toad In the Hole as part of its Valentine's Dine in for two offer.
Pancake in a bottle
Not a true convenience product for the culinary challenged. The single-use plastic bottle does contain pancake mix, but requires the consumer to fill it up water to the correct line on the bottle, shake it, put oil in a pan and then heat. You can't go wrong. (You can actually, pancake tossing is a drag.)
Marks & Spencer Ready-Made Jam Sandwich
This isn't just any jam sandwich - it's an M&S jam sandwich that comes in a cardboard box. Look, they may have buttered the bread and spread the strawberry jam, but for 75p we want Sir Stuart Rose to come and feed it to us.
Dettol Anti-Bacterial Floor Wipes
For £2.70 you can buy 15 single-use anti-bacterial floor wipes. Your floor will be safe enough to eat off of - but who does that?
Dairylea Dunkers
This product, with its plastic pot and foil cover, puts the P in packaged goods. Of particular favourite is the lunchbox variety - so you can happily send your child to school with a pre-boxed Dairylea Lunchable pack.
Garnier Nutritionist Caffeine Eye Roll-on
This is a nomination from Marketing's feature editor, Nicola Clark. Quite possibly the most pointless product ever invented - why drink Caffeine in coffee form like a normal sane human being when you can spend £5 of your hard- earned cash on this eye bag reducing roll on gizmo. Hell it's the credit crunch just slosh a bit of your Nescafe under your eyes in the morning - bargain.
Innocent Thickies - breakfast in a bottle
Praise be to those clever folks over at ‘Fruit Towers' who have kindly mixed oats into a smoothie so us useless consumers can drink our breakfasts. Putting milk on my cornflakes was quite frankly far too time consuming for such a busy time consuming on the go eco-chick such as myself. May I suggest a roast dinner smoothie next?
Caffeine-Free Diet Coke
Come on Coke do you want to suck all the fun out of our lives? Possibly the most pointless drink of all time. Note to Coke, how about Coke free - fizz free Diet Coke....oh hang on that's just water.
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