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I don’t know if there’s anyone out there, reading this, who’s old

enough to remember advertising. I’m talking about the old days, when the

job was to sell things. Ages ago. Before the only job of planners was to

get us to empathise with the target audience. Before art directors and

copywriters became designers and TV producers. Even before the target

audience for everything we do became 12 people on an awards jury.

There, I thought that’d shock you. In the old days we used to do

advertising.

Yes. I know we still call it advertising. But in the old days we

actually used to do advertising. We’d try to sell things to people - 55

million people, in fact.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: what’s that got to do with winning an

advertising award? And you’re right. It has the square root of fuck all

to do with winning an advertising award. Which is probably why we

stopped doing it. Because 55 million punters can’t give you an

advertising award. They can whistle your jingle at bus stops. Kids can

shout your slogan at each other in the playground. You can use word of

mouth to get ratings many times larger than your client is paying for.

You can get your TV campaign off the box and into the streets, even into

the language.

But, fair do’s, it does have the square root of fuck all to do with

winning an advertising award.

So let’s forget all about it and get on with the real business. What

will the jury vote for? Well, St Ivel Utterly Butterly, I should

imagine. I don’t have a clue what it’s all about. Christ knows why I’m

supposed to buy the product, or even know what the product is. (Is it

low-calorie, spreadable, healthy, delicious or what?) The whole thing is

very confusing but beautifully shot. Perfect credentials for an

advertising award, in fact.

Just like the Rover 75 commercial. Is the car big, is it good value, can

it corner well, is it fast, does it even have an engine, if so, what

sort? Oh, don’t be so old fashioned, what’s that got to do with

empathising with the consumer? Our kind of purchaser isn’t merely buying

a vehicle.

What do you think this is about: transport? This is mood, this is

lifestyle, this a paradigm, a context, this is all about the kind of

person you are.

The Rover 75: it is, are you? Yet again, in car advertising, planning

has fused with the psyche of the target market, helping to create an ad

that’s beautifully shot and doesn’t mention the product. Almost a

certainty for an advertising award, I reckon.

Just like Trebor Fundays. ’Let’s show grown-ups recapturing their

childhood, our target market will recognise the emotions depicted and

empathise with them, we don’t need hard sell’, (planner-speak). ’Bung

the pack on the end, then it won’t spoil the film’,

(creative-speak).

Fair enough.

Then what about the two press ads for FT.com? Apart from looking good, I

don’t know what stock shots from Henri Bresson and Elliot Erwitt tell

you about the FT’s online service (if that’s what they’re advertising).

What can I say? No FT, no comment.

What about the Debra cinema commercial; will it get an award? Well it’s

a demo - juries love a good demo. It’s a charity - juries love a

charity.

It’s well shot - juries ... (etc).

Which just leaves BBC Knowledge. I’m just not sure this one’s got much

of a chance. Sure, it’s well shot, the trouble is, I understood exactly

what was going on. Talk about lazy, they couldn’t even be bothered to

make it confusing. It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t even quirky. It wasn’t

shot upside down, through the bottom of a milk bottle, with some quick

cuts of a legless hunchback painted gold. What are they playing at? I

mean, I understood what the product was, what was good about it, how it

worked, and why I should (gasp) buy it.

I should save your entrance fee on that one, fellas. You’re aiming at

the wrong audience. You’re talking to punters.

You obviously don’t know anything about advertising.

Dave Trott is the creative director of Walsh Trott Chick Smith

Rover

Project: Rover 75

Client: John Sanders, UK marketing director

Brief: The Rover 75’s distinctiveness means not everyone is going to

like it but a lot of people will love it

Agency: Ammirati Puris Lintas Writer: Sam Cartmell

Art director: Jason Lawes

Director: Rupert Sanders

Production company: Outsider

Exposure: Global terrestrial and satellite TV

Debra

Project: Debra

Client: David Bendor-Samuel, head of communications

Brief: Raise funds for EB, the genetic skin blistering disease

Agency: M&C Saatchi Writer: Angela Jones

Art director: David Graham-Dao

Director: Brian Griffin Production company: Douglas & Jones

Exposure: Cinema

BBC

Project: BBC Knowlege

Client: Liz Cleaver, head of programming

Brief: BBC Knowledge, the digital TV and internet service, offers

unparalleled access to information

Agency: Leagas Delaney Writer: Will Farquhar

Art director: Ian Ducker

Director: Graham Rose Production company: In-house

Exposure: BBC television

Financial Times

Project: FT.com

Client: Malcolm Waddington, marketing communications director

Brief: Increase brand awareness of FT.com and drive traffic to the site

Agency: Delaney Fletcher Bozell Writer: Not supplied

Art director: Gary Betts

Typographer: Shelley Dobson Photographer: Various

Exposure: Business titles and national press

Trebor Bassett

Project: Trebor Fundays

Client: Louise Cook, marketing controller

Brief: Trebor Fundays are bags of your favourite sweets that bring out

the child in you

Agency: Fallon McElligott Writer: Andy McLeod

Art director: Richard Flintham

Director: Chris Palmer Production company: Gorgeous

Exposure: National TV

St Ivel

Project: Utterly Butterly

Client: Tony Lucas, marketing director

Brief: Show how obsessed Utterly Butterly users are with its buttery

taste

Agency: D’Arcy

Writer: Steve Meredith

Art director: Ray Brennan

Director: Barney Cokeliss Production company: Concrete

Exposure: National TV