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I was sitting in my local one evening last year watching a game with some mates. They’re QPR fans but seeing as the chances of my boys Peterborough being on the box are about as likely as Warren Gatland wearing an "I love English Rugby" T-shirt, I joined them.

While we were there, dozens of ads came and went. But then one appeared that prompted calls of "shut up… shhhhh… I love this". Each of my mates (a plumber, brickie, IT consultant and cameraman for the BBC) watched and enjoyed. It was Wieden & Kennedy’s Southern Comfort ad with the fat German porn star in his tangas walking along the beach. Even when it had gone, it was still the hot topic of conversation. More people joined in.

And that’s the power of great advertising. It lives well beyond the time you’re viewing it. It becomes part of conversations. It becomes at least as interesting as the popular culture around it. I remember the first time I saw "surfer", "gorilla" and "’ave it", and the conversations they engendered, not just at work. I remember tearing out the Barnardo’s "f**k off" ad and discovering I certainly wasn’t the only one to do so.

I was also recently accosted by my ten-year-old niece from Hicksville, upstate New York, singing every last word of a rail-safety ad from Australia ("dumb ways to die").

Simple, memorable ideas that people want to talk about. That’s what we search for, surely. That’s the measure. (My own personal barometer is "What would Ant Nelson say?", which pretty much amounts to the same thing.)

First up against the wall is Cobra. The story of a guy who runs Cobra by day and a bra-making firm called BraCo by night. While there’s no denying it is nicely shot and the story well-told, it feels exactly like the recent Heineken work and a shadow of Dos Equis’ "the most interesting man in the world". The last great beer work produced in the UK was for John Smith’s. Since then, it has been Australia all the way. I showed the Loftus Road boys Carlton Draught "beer chase". They loved it and spoke about it days later. Not sure they’ll be doing the same with Cobra.

Jägermeister, too, is beautifully shot. There’s no lack of craft. Indeed, a hell of a lot has gone into it. I just wish we got a hell of a lot out of it.

Next up, a stunningly beautiful film for Dulux. Rather than alcohol being prohibited in the 30s, it’s colour. It lacks for nothing in scale, detail and quality. And you have to applaud the ambition here. But, for me, what it does lack is the memorability, originality and sheer buzz of that other ad that changed a grey, humdrum world by adding vibrant colours: Jonathan Glazer’s "paint" film for Sony Bravia.

I played the Adidas Fast or Fail game. It has got Lionel Messi, it can win you a trip to watch games in Brazil. I should be frothing at the mouth to tell you more.

Finally, Lipton. Loads of money, loads of Muppets, with the idea that the city is full of Animals (the character, not the band). And Kermit manages to cope with all their nastiness by drinking Lipton tea. It’s the closest of this week’s offerings to having that talkability. But that’s probably more to do with the fact it features 100 Muppets than it is a great ad for Lipton.

So, as my mates in blue and white hoops would say: too many Bobby Zamoras and not enough Rodney Marshes.  

So, before we start, can I warn any readers that there is something quite shocking with all these ads.

Yes, it’s incredible, but there are no cute animals in the line-up. How did they possibly pass research without a few stunt puppies? Oh, wait… puppets of animals: Miss Piggy and Kermie – do they count?

First out the traps is an enjoyable spot for Lipton that capitalises on the global success of the Muppets and a joint venture to promote the new Muppets movie. This one poses an interesting question: to Kermit or not to Kermit? The Muppets have been in many ads, including a recent Super Bowl spot for Toyota. But how do you turn down such a great franchise if its furry little face is at the door? Well, you don’t – you just make a better ad than others before you.

The ad shows a world of Annnimaaal coffee drinkers, with little Kermit being the chilled one who drinks tea. A solid insight, but isn’t Animal the coolest of all the muppets? All in all, it’s good; not much to dislike, except perhaps the line: "Be more tea." Really? "Be more dog", I like – good attitude. "Be more tea"? Hmmmm – warm and milky. Feels like a bit of an over-thought idea that consumers won’t relate to. Nonetheless, it also feels big and Super Bowl-like in scale so will no doubt push Lipton onwards.

The new Cobra commercial steps into a familiar world of tours of breweries with a twist. I find this one a little cringey, to be honest: "By day, he runs a successful beer company; by night, he runs a successful brassiere company" – and, apparently, that’s living the dream! This guy needs to set the bra higher. This could have been a great spot if the volume and irony had been dialled up a lot more. It just lacks enough crazy to be Old Spicey or Hahn Super Dry-ish. If the brief is to move the brand perception away from curry lager, I worry the spot has undertones of Bollywood movies that reinforce its legacy.

The new Dulux ad is a wonderful idea: colour prohibition with paint as contraband. Great idea, great execution, beautifully shot and great styling. It’s refreshing to put the product in a new environment as so many home brands keep their comms limited to demos around the house. If anything, you could tell the client messed with the ending and insisted on a demonstration of colour range (you’re Dulux – we know you don’t just do one colour), but it does little to erode my pick of the bunch. It’s excellent.

Adidas has made a new promo piece for a game featuring the world’s most famous footballer, Lionel Messi. Ninety seconds of graphics and new product porn. I find the most powerful gaming ads are the ones that step out of the gaming look and feel and don’t go for the tech show. This one does.

The new Jägermeister ad looks great and has a good soundtrack. A big tick, then. It’s just a shame it feels like another cliché global alcohol ad where a group of guys have adventures and bond over a drink. Come on, clients – do you really think that guys sharing a moment is the single relatable thing alcohol brands can sell to young men? This is a UK spot but I feel as though it doesn’t make the most of UK sensibilities. It is beautifully shot, though, and makes a nice mood piece for brand associations. Perhaps they should have had a surfing dog in it.