You can multiply such bilge a million times over and still not sate the appetite of the week’s glossies, blogs and tweets.
Close observers of the media scene and popular preoccupations assure me that the fascination with so-called "celebs" is on the wane. I have serious doubts.
Not long ago, it became known that comedy writer and actress Ms Jennifer Saunders had breast cancer. : "There is no battle. I hate the word battle. You just get battered with a load of drugs. People want the words 'trauma', 'battle' and 'life-changing'; but it’s not a great three-part TV drama full of moments; it’s a long grind, like a slow car crash that will last five years and then, hopefully, we’ll get out."
But, until someone spotted Ms Saunders without the wig she wore after chemotherapy, no one outside her family and friends knew of her illness.
How did journalists react? By respecting her refusal to discuss her own health? Not a chance. There was certain sniffiness that a well-known individual had dared not to expose their innermost life to the general public. As if we had all been "cheated". But, unlike the abuse of taxpayers’ money, this is nothing to do with me.
Saunders and Edmondson just get on with their work, raise their children and enjoy the company of their friends – like you and me, in fact. Also, when it comes to "exploiting" their fame, it has been in the service of good causes, Comic Relief, for one.
So I was cheered to see a band of people from the next generation behaving in a like fashion. JLS (http://www.jlsofficial.com) also did their bit for Red Nose Day earlier this year. But that’s not all, as you see from the accompanying picture.
If you’ll excuse the pun, JLS has got into bed with Durex to promote safe sex. They’ve even recast the band’s name to read ‘JUST LOVE SAFE’.
On the reverse of the special packs of condoms, it says: "All profits received by JLS as a result of this promotion (which will be at least 10p per pack sold) shall be donated by JLS to sexual health charities."
Whether it was their own idea or not, one can only applaud JLS for using their current influence for the general good. Even if, like me, you’ll never like the music. Sorry lads.
Simon S Kershaw is a creative consultant and a former creative director at Craik Jones.