There's always one isn't there. Someone that managed to sneak into the agency on a care in the community day release from Broadmoor, or whatever, and just never went home again. You will have no recall of their appointment, no one else will take responsibility for having actually employed them and when you consult the human resources department they have absolutely no record.
But a smiling, happy disposition will take you a long way in an agency -- particularly when there are so many miserable bastards there. And the airhead can strike at any time and in any agency department. Creative, planning, admin... but God help us all when the inexperienced, lightweight, candy-assed airhead thinks they'd 'quite like to have a bash' at account management.
No one actually knows the airhead's name. You'll have heard it a dozen times a day because she'll have a very loud voice, and insist on entering the conference room during the big client presentation with a Johnny Carson type, "Heeerrrrrrs... KATEY!!" and then laugh very loudly. But no one else will. Then, just when you thought you did know her name, she'll change it. Not to be difficult, but because she thinks she'd, "rather just quite like to be 'Caroline' today." Mmmmm...
The junior airhead is the one that just doesn't get it. Any of it. She'll sit in on the presentation to make up the numbers and at some point the account director will take a moment to reflect on their advanced personnel skills and how much they would have appreciated and learned from the experience if they had been allowed into presentations like these at Kateycaroline's age. And then Kateycaroline will speak.
And it won't be harmless or inane or just plain stupid. Oh no. The one comment uttered will be more damaging than Faust himself could have conceived. Something like, "Oh, I get it -- that creative work is just like the stuff we showed that other sports shoe company. And that's why you said not to worry if we don't win the pitch 'cos we can wheel it all out again next week. And you just needed to change the logo at the bottom. That's really clever. I'm into recycling..."
At Birddog, we've discovered that creative marketing communications takes time to deliver effectively. Unfortunately, timekeeping, or rather, the evident lack of it, is likely to be the other airhead giveaway. Not that you'll need much more indication that there's an airhead amongst you.
But when the rest of the agency is working round the clock to finish the presentation or meet the copy deadline or just generally fighting for survival, Kateycaroline will vape into the office way, way after elevenses and ask where everyone's going for lunch today.
And when questioned about her tardiness, she'll glance questioningly at the height of her heels as she hitches her skirt down a bit. So then you'll explain 'TARDiness' and how important it is for her future career progression in the agency for her to be on time. And she'll look at you with frowned concentration and then smile and lightly quip, "Oh yes, I absolutely SO understand - but I haven't got a watch. I really just hate being constrained by time. I'm SUCH a free spirit. The day goes so much quicker that way. Don't you think?"
Ahh yes, 'don't you think'. At least at Birddog we get to appreciate the irony. And, of course, for all her shortcomings, you probably appreciate the airhead too. Or at least you may as well appreciate him or her, because no matter how hard you try, there will always be one in every agency. As soon as one leaves or is promoted beyond their own level of incompetence, there's another one loitering in reception ready to take the place. Funny how that's the only occasion the airhead will ever be on time...
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