Shouting lager lager shots mega mega corporate rip-off

BRAND WATCH - Corporate brands saw their reputations shattered as binge drinking and crisps flavoured like... er, beer were all in the news, writes Jennifer Whitehead.

It was the week where no corporate brand seemed to be safe from rumour, innuendo and plummeting stock prices as the fallout from the WorldCom debacle sent shockwaves throughout the business world.

Xerox and General Electric were just two of the companies that saw their reputations come into question as America and the rest of the world woke up to the fact that corporations have been talking up their profits to force share prices up.

Just when Europe was wondering if it could happen here, the troubled Franco-American conglomerate Vivendi Universal was revealed to have accounting problems of its own... adding to its massive debt, falling share price and the threat of the company being broken up.

Here in the UK, the big accounting scandals are yet to strike the stock market. However, the restaurant chain Fish! looked on the verge of sinking, after its bank refused to lend it any more money.

Fish! expanded at a rapid pace, but has in recent weeks closed four of its 20 outlets. It also issued investors with a warning only days after assuring them that trading was improving.

A British brand with a slightly longer pedigree, Jensen Motors, was also experiencing difficulties.

The luxury sports car maker, first seen on British roads in the 1930s, laid off its entire workforce as it weighs up whether or not to continue production in its Merseyside factory. Jensen is considering moving its manufacturing abroad, following other British companies like Dyson, reportedly because of concerns over the strength of the pound and government bureaucracy making the UK operations non viable.

One brand was managing expansion rather than shrinkage. The London gay nightclub G-A-Y is becoming a brand itself, with entertainment firm Mean Fiddler to build a G-A-Y-branded bar and cabaret venue.

The bar is to be called G-A-Y, and will be situated in Soho's gay heartland, Old Compton Street. Mean Fiddler is also taking over a cinema on Piccadilly and turning it into a 420-capacity cabaret club. It hopes to cross-promote the venues, targeting the affluent gay community.

However, the issue of young people's drinking habits was once again under the spotlight. The Daily Mail warned that the new craze for drinking sweet, pre-packaged shots was fuelling binge drinking among young Brits.

The newspaper singled out one brand in particular, called Sidekick, "which even has its own website", it railed. Oh the cheek of it. Now delegates at the British Medical Association conference will hear calls for the makers of such drinks to label them with the number of units of alcohol they contain, not just the percentage. Prepare to see the story "New drink labelling fails to curb shot drink binging" soon.

On the other hand, if you really can't get enough alcohol... McCoy's, the crisp brand, is launching lager-flavoured crisps. The brand will be known as "lager, lager" and are, says McCoy's, made with real brewing yeast and "will enable fans to enjoy the taste of beer without suffering any side effects". Yum.

And from one taste sensation to another. Heinz has revealed to the world the method for turning its humble baked beans into a gourmet treat.

The company sent two chefs on a mission to find the perfect beans on toast. The pair returned with precise instructions of how it should done. For the perfect outcome ensure unsalted butter is stored at 16.8 degrees. You must use 9.3 grams and it must seep into the bread (white unsliced loaf) by 2.13mm. Make sure you grill the toast (no toaster) and once cooked to the perfect golden brown leave for one minute and eight seconds.

This is good news for students everywhere, but probably not as good as lager-flavoured crisps.

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