Monday
I don’t care what anyone says, you never get used to the early starts. I’ve been doing breakfast radio for nearly 12 years, and I’m still not one of those people who leaps out of bed and says "wa-hey!".
My wife describes me as the "grumpy bear" when I get up at 4.12am, but the moment we start the show, it’s oddly energising. Texts and calls start coming in and you realise people out there want to talk.
The breakfast show this week is all about setting up and pushing ‘Who’s Calling Christian: Big in the ‘80s’. We rested the slot for year and a half, so I thought it might be fun to revive it for one week with an ‘80s special.
The great thing about ‘Who’s Calling Christian’ is that I need to have faith in the audience getting great people to call in. Twitter has made it much easier to get celebrities on, especially with a charity angle.
You never really know if it’s going to work – but I love that spontaneity about radio. Every morning I’m so excited about what’s going to happen.
Tonight, I do my fifth-ever stand-up gig at a Kingston comedy club. Every New Year I resolve to go back and do stand-up, but I always give in to fear.
It was fellow Absolute presenter Frank Skinner who finally pushed me to try again. It’s far scarier than radio – I might have an audience of over 1.5 million on air, but on stage you’re vulnerable and exposed.
There’s no hiding behind the music, and once they see past who I am, they’re thinking "Come on Monkey Boy, show us what you’ve got!". To add to the pressure, I’m performing alongside Dara O’ Brien who is there trialling new material. It’s my best gig so far – and I’m buzzing so much afterwards I don’t sleep.
Tuesday
After the breakfast show, it’s straight into a planning meeting with the breakfast show team. Today I’m sitting on a panel with representatives from all the commercial radio groups such as Global and Bauer, to present a Q&A on how radio is changing, to Unilever.
I honestly love doing this stuff and am very interested in the way our industry is evolving. We’ve had to become far more accountable.
Years ago, when I was on Xfm, we were naïve, and buggered off down the pub by 11am. But we’re funded by advertisers and if we want the best clients, we quite rightly need to show responsibility to management and advertisers.
No two days are the same, but I’m usually home by 4pm in time for a power nap.
Tonight is parents’ evening for my girls, Ruby and Lois (aged four and seven). I live in glamorous Dorking, Surrey – it’s not very media, lots of old people – picture the film ‘Cocoon’.
Much as I love working in London, it’s healthier for me to leave it behind. Plenty of radio presenter friends of mine have been swayed by that temptation – it’s not for me.
I encourage the girls to listen to my show on the school run, but they prefer their CD of rock renditions of the times table (Christian starts singing the seven-times table) Jesus, if I can’t get my kids to tune in, what chance have I got?
Wednesday
Every industry has its consultants and radio is no different. Every three months, a lovely Australian chap called Phil comes in to give notes on our show over a two-hour session.
He highlights what’s working, what isn’t and offers pointers for the future. He can be brutal, but today I get off lightly, the only criticism being that I’m not saying the time out loud often enough.
Last time he came in, he told us, in all seriousness, that the show is now 15% funnier than it was last year. Cue lots of funny jingles by us on the show (Christian adopts radio jingle voice): ‘The Christian O’Connell Show – now 15% funnier’.
I look forward to Phil’s visits – I can vent any frustrations to him like he’s the station therapist.
Midday and it’s time for a haircut. Media Week readers will understand the importance of looking after your hair in this industry.
Nothing too wacky today, as I’m flying out to Belfast this weekend to film an episode of ‘Ask Rhod Gilbert’ for BBC One.
Thursday
Today is all about the breakfast show and then focusing on our new monthly live comedy night, ‘Beer and Cake’.
As the name suggests, the audience of about 400 listeners enjoys some beer and cake, while myself and the breakfast show team perform an unrecorded show at the Leicester Square Theatre. It’s great, interactive fun.
I genuinely enjoy our audience and I think that comes across with things like ‘Who’s Calling Christian’. I know they’re not hanging on my every word (nobody is, not even my wife), but they do have to really care about the show for it to work.
Don’t leave the theatre until 10.30pm after hanging out with some of the audience, so it’s another late night.
Friday
After the breakfast show, we tape an interview with James Corden, which will go out next week. As a huge fan, I’m flattered to hear that he’s been listening to me for several years. Never very good at taking compliments, I just look at my shoes, shift awkwardly and go a little bit red.
He’s going to co-host a live show with me, like David Tennant does, in November. Noel Gallagher is also co-hosting on 12 October and I can’t wait. Noel is such a natural communicator and it’s going to be great fun, not to mention interesting.
A lot of the management here are nervous. They were keen for me to pre-record it but I wanted it to go out live.
Maybe I’ll get a swear jar in to raise some money for charity – or to pay our fines.
Saturday
Filming with Rhod Gilbert in Belfast is a blast. They leave the cameras rolling and there’s little format, so we let loose.
After filming, I hit the hotel bar with Rhod, comedian Greg Davies, and Jenny Eclair who is also on the show. My life is rarely this rock 'n' roll, but I don’t get to bed until 6am.
I’d say I wrapped up the night by throwing a TV out of the window and sleeping with some audience members, but reality saw me eating half a Toblerone alone in bed.
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