From B-List on the i-list to Zzzzzzz-List
Bitch put on her glad rags this week to attend the party for the 100th edition of i, the Independent Group’s new 20p bite-sized paper and was confronted with celebrities from the B list down to the Zzzzzzz list.
Greeted with a glass of Champagne thrust into her hand, she very quickly realised that the ever-urbane editor-in-chief of The Independent, Simon Kelner, was doing the glad-handling himself, even glad-handling the much younger wife of one of the Carat team into a photo with him, exclaiming to all who would listen, "get a picture of me with MY wife". You might be a silver fox, but you were fooling no one darling.
After that, what seemed to be the contents of Kelner’s address book walked in, with those ready to lig the free Champagne including newsreader Emily Maitlis, Private Eye Editor Ian Hislop, Five Live’s Richard Bacon (who tends to turn up to the opening of an envelope these days if he gets a sniff of an invite), Bitch’s favourite straight talker, Janet Street Porter, impressionist Ronni Ancona and "star" of the television ads for the paper, "funny" man Dom Jolly, who was wearing a cast and revealed to Bitch that he had received the injury on the BBC TV show 'Total Wipeout'. Social commentator Peter York added a particularly snooty air, while the gorgeous journalist Dermot Murnaghan added to the male totty quota.
Even Andrew Mullins, , managing director of i, The Independent, Independent on Sunday and the Evening Standard, managed to crack a smile for the cameras, while i editor Stefano Hatfield was so full of beans, the photographer couldn’t keep up with him.
No sign, however, of The Independent’s media agency, with Walker Media chiefs Phil Georgiadis and Simon Davis nowhere to be found. Something you’re not telling Bitch, boys? Or were you just working late like the diligent media types she knows you are?
Not so OK!
Well, well, looks like Bitch is going to have to have to get her share of celebrity gossip from a different publisher from now on, as it looks like Richard 'Dirty Des' Desmond has decided to sell off tittle-tattle magazines OK!, Star and New – Bitch must say she was a little (Nothern &) Shell-shocked.
The last time Richard sold off a number of titles, they were of a slightly higher shelf variety including 'Big Ones', 'Over Forty' and 'Asian Babes' (which is how he got the undeserved nickname).
Not that Bitch doesn’t think these are esteemed and very readable titles, as she’s sure they never burnt those negatives of the "artistic" shoot she did in the eighties...
Last McCall for boarding
All Bitch can say is how the mighty fall...only to be saved by a handily placed toy plane...
Having graced the pages of Media Week many a time as chief executive of one of the UK's most respected, and dare Bitch say, serious, news organisations, it was good to see a bit of old school "plane-clutching" promotion is not beyond former GMG chief executive Carolyn McCall in her new role as queen of the skies.
Launching a new tie-up between Sainsbury's and easyJet, McCall is pictured...with Justin King, chief executive of Sainsbury's...in a Sainsbury's supermarket...holding an easyJet plane...we get it Carolyn, really we do.
Rumours that the fortunes of easyJet are forcing chief executive McCall to get a Saturday job on the tills shouting "I need a price" and "What aisle?", are Bitch is sure, untrue.
So true, funny how it seems...
Bitch has had her prayers answered after Absolute Radio announced that it would be choosing one lucky couple to tie the knot live on the Christian O’Connell Breakfast Show on Friday 15 April.
She must admit she got out the sick bag when she was told that listeners to the station would be getting to choose the song for the couple’s first dance, and heard the shortlist.
The cheese that listeners have to choose from includes ‘True’ by Spandau Ballet (although a Bitch guilty pleasure favourite, she admits), ‘Loving You’ by Minnie Riperton, and (strangest of all) ‘Unbelievable’ by 90s indie one-hit-wonders EMF.
The venue for the nuptials? London Zoo! David James, the marketing director at BT, wants to give the couple "a day they’ll never forget". Bitch is sure it will be totally memorable if they’re standing down wind of the elephant enclosure, and isn’t quite sure of the symbolism of being surrounded by cages.
Fabulous sweetie darling
Off to the launch of high-street retailer Mango’s collaboration with Stylist magazine, which became very sweetie/darling Ab Fab. The event, held in the Regent Street store of the retailer was hosted by Mindshare’s Joanna Lyall and Stylist publisher Glenda Marchant, and Bitch has never seen so much air-kissing.
Bitch was a little bit worried when what seemed to be "fondle the nude mannequin" became the order of the evening, but is assured it was first touted as "dress the mannequin". Bitch is sure some of the girls and more open male bloggers who attended the event had been partaking in a little too much of the fizz.
Quite what the Spanish client, who had flown over especially for the event – but, Bitch is told, didn't speak much English – made of the occasion, is anyone's guess.
The theme was Work It, or how to look on-trend and smart at the same time, something that just comes naturally to this girl.
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