Would Andy please exit the Channel 4 house…
Bitch hears that it was the leaving do last night for a certain Andy Barnes, the departing commercial director of Channel 4, at the broadcaster’s Horseferry Road headquarters, as part of a 'Big Brother'-themed evening.
Apparently, Andy was treated to a party full of industry faces, including his own chief executive David Abraham, Thinkbox chairman Tess Alps, MPG Media Contacts CEO Marc Mendoza, and a returning Christine Walker, former chairman and chief executive at Walker Media.
Sources tell Bitch that Barnes sat in the 'Big Brother' chair, surrounded by screens, as Stuart Cosgrove, the director of creative and diversity at the terrestrial channel told an off-colour joke regarding a US trip and, ahem, fellatio, that not even Bitch could repeat.
Mags industry tells The Apprentice…"You’re fired!"
On one of her rare nights in, Bitch was glued to the screen on Wednesday, to see not only her favourite stern man Lord Alan Sugar, but also to watch his hopeless charges on ‘The Apprentice’ try and negotiate the magazine world and negotiate against seasoned media buyers.
These included MediaCom’s glamorous Claudine Collins, Carat’s resident straight talker Dominic Williams, and the trio of Maxus CEO Lindsay Pattison, the agency’s head of press John Maloney, and press manager Luke Hills.
Comments ranged from, Williams, on the oldies magazine Hip Replacement: "I can just imagine me going to see one of our [clients] and being laughed out of the room."
And, when faced with a team that wouldn’t budge on price: "We’re not looking for fair."
Collins, on trying to be negotiated up in price on lads' mag Covered: "That isn’t going to happen."
And Pattison (on Hip Replacement): "It does look like Viz have done a magazine for the over 60s."
And Bitch thought she was cutting.
Wednesday evening, Happy Days!
Bitch always knew that the industry was cool, but now she knows that it definitely is. At the PPA magazine publishing awards this week, the awards were opened with a charity plea from none other than 'Happy Days' icon The Fonz, aka Henry Winkler.
Winkler was asking people to dig deep for the PPA's Mag Aid joint project with the National Literacy Trust, which helps children develop reading skills. and although Bitch dug deep like the rest of the assembled crowd, she was genuinely thrilled to be in the presence of sitcom greatness.
Winkler told the audience: "I did not read a book until I was 31 because I was afraid of the words in between the two covers."
He has since written 17 novels in the series, 'The Adventures of Hank Zipzer', inspired by his true-life experiences.
The Fonz signed off his pitch by saying: "Thank you for listening ... my parents never did".
Bitch hung on his every word though.
Bitch has now slid into her old Friday slot boys and girls, so for any field reports you want to send, or any racy stories, she will have her (non-libellous) mail forwarded from media.week@haymarket.com
‘Til the next time, ciao darlings. xxx
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