360-degree drinking
Bitch has just got back from Media360, the annual Brand Republic Group conference held at the home of all naughty Manchester United players, The Lowry (she wondered if she'd been there before).
Considering the shenanigans that the News of the World, and other Sunday red-tops have recently reported about a certain footballer's indiscretions at said hotel, Bitch is not sure the title 'Returning To Growth,' was the most appropriate one.
At the conference, speakers including David Abraham, Channel 4 chief executive, Jon Goldstone from Premier Foods, Marc Mendoza, CEO of MPG Media Contacts, and Mark Holden, worldwide strategy and planning director of PHD and chair of the conference, made keynote speeches before the gala dinner.
Either media is Returning To Growth, or is throwing caution to the winds, if the number of people in the bar at 3am was anything to go by. By the time the crowd thinned at 4am, one boss of a top-10 media agency pronounced "I've had less sleep than this, I'll see you in the morning" and promptly went to bed.
As Bitch has had so many men run out on her over time, she was in no way surprised that said agency head was nowhere to be found in the morning, having had some "urgent business" to attend to in London.
Bitch heard this may have followed some "urgent business" with a porcelain bowl the night before. This is according to one member of The Lowry staff who had get the mop and bucket out in the early hours...
127 hours (without a pee)
Now that the Bitch is back (thank you Elton John) from Manchester, she has been catching up with all that has been going on in the capital, and was happy to hear that she was going to be invited to watch a man being held captive and tied up with ropes.
Before she got too excited, she was let in on the secret that the man involved was none other than FHM and Zoo digital account manager Luke Jones, who, in partnership with high-street retailer HMV, plus 20th Century Fox UK, and the Everyman Cancer Charity, spent 127 hours in the window of the HMV store in Oxford Street promoting, funnily enough, Danny Boyle's '127 Hours' on Blu-ray and DVD.
Bitch has heard that the Everyman charity does fantastic work for prostate cancer care, so she was a bit worried about Luke's own prostate, with 127 hours of not being able to, ahem, spend a penny.
However, Bitch is assured that at the end of each day, Luke was allowed a 15-minute break for a tramp's wash and toilet break.
Just as well Luke was allowed that relief time, and didn't have to pee where he stood, as the whole event was broadcast to the world over the internet and came alive on Twitter and Facebook. As an HMV spokesman mused, "How long would it have taken for that to go viral?"
Lucky Lawson
Bitch is sorry that she missed out on this year's Derby, as she was away on another jolly. However, the team from perennial good-time paper City AM seemed to take Bitch's place as the most outrageous attraction at the event.
Bitch doesn’t want to cast aspersions, but she thinks that the team may have got away with more than most, due to being a co-sponsor at the equestrian jaunt.
As part of the deal, City AM produced its first-ever Saturday edition (it's usually out Monday to Friday).
The paper's racing correspondent Bill Esdaile was called in to provide betting tips to the guests. City AM founder and managing director, Lawson "Lunchmaster" Muncaster, had a lucky (or he would say, skilled) day of backing winners and combinations, correctly forecasting the first-three-placed horses in the Derby itself and bagging several grand in the process.
Unfortunately, these were individual bets and not accumulated bets. However, headhunter James Moreton from the City was shrewder with a £2 accumulator bet, netting £1,500 for getting the correct forecast for Pour Moi, Treasure Beach and the Queen's horse, Carlton House. Bitch knows who she's going with next year then…
Sorry about the interruption for Media360, darlings, but Bitch has been catching up – normal service will be resumed over the next few days. Ciao, darlings. xxx
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