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Mix was intrigued to read some web correspondence from Volkswagen

designed to kick Bill Gates into touch after his comment: ’If VW had

kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be

driving dollars 25 cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.’

Possibly true, admits VW. But then again: ’If VW had developed

technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the

following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would need to

buy a new car.

3. Occasionally executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause

your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would

have to reinstall the engine.

4. The airbag system would say ’Are you sure?’ before going off.

There are more, too numerous to list. If you can invent any better ones,

fax them to Mix on 0171 413 4504. We’ll print the best ones - a prize

for anything outstanding.