Let's suppose that you are a highly successful marketer with quite a few miles on the clock. Right now you're idling on a holiday beach, batteries recharged, with those first strains of boredom creeping in. This has given rise to renewed indulgence of The Fantasy.
In this agreeable state, your mind summons up an image of your next big marketing challenge - but not another chief marketing officer role; you've been there and done brilliant things in categories from automotive to shampoo. No, it's time to put your genius to work at a more thrilling level, by investing in a loved but long-neglected brand and turning it around.
Capital won't be a problem: over the years you've made venture-capital contacts who have given you the nod that backing will be there if you spot the right opportunity.
This year, with a watchful eye on the economy, you begin to pursue The Fantasy with something approaching serious intent. What's more, perhaps you have found the right brand. Browsing through the Financial Times site on your BlackBerry, you see Fray Bentos has been put up for sale by Princes, which had acquired it from beleaguered Premier Foods as part of the disposal of its canning division.
Fray Bentos - there's a name to salivate over. Known by millions, evoking feelings of comfort and satisfaction, quietly selling in supermarkets at £2 a can. Think of the potential with a bit of marketing magic: value-meets-flavour; heritage-meets-wholesome. What about the spin-offs? Sausages? Ready meals? Sauces?
A single word of advice here. Don't. Not this one, nor any of those other 'sleeping beauty' brands that seem to have been dormant forever, just awaiting the kiss of the talented marketer to revive them. Sleeping they might be; beautiful they are not. You could find yourself attempting to administer the kiss of life to a corpse.
Fray Bentos, weirdly, has split the analysts, thereby offering dangerous encouragement to the would-be rescuer. Some advance reasons why the £30m price tag might just be worth it, while others point to the challenges - a euphemism if ever there was one.
So here is a brief reality check.
First, the combination of fame, heritage and affection does not automatically translate into sales. The fickle public has been content to say farewell to Woolworths, Slimcea bread and Spangles. Nostalgia will not prop up Fray Bentos.
Second, what is the brand famous for? Meat pies in cans. Red meat, as a general category, is in decline. Pies, as a subset of that, are struggling. Canned foods are growing more slowly than chilled convenience foods.
It's not looking good.
Third, demographics. The brand's franchise is with the old; its appeal relates to eating habits being changed beyond all recognition by a younger, more health-conscious generation.
Sales have flatlined at about £30m for a decade, and you have to worry about margins. How much profit does Fray Bentos achieve from its £2 price tag? It's either very low - or, if respectably high, you really have to wonder exactly what's inside those cans.
So, get back to sleep on your lilo, and let Fray Bentos go back to sleep on its supermarket shelf. The world, inexorably, has moved on.
Helen Edwards, PPA Columnist of the Year (Business Media), has a PhD in marketing, an MBA from London Business School and is a partner at Passionbrand, where she works with some of the world's biggest advertisers
30 SECONDS ON ... 'SLEEPING BEAUTY' BRANDS
They are the brands that everyone knows, but no one seems to buy; long-dormant, neglected, seemingly awaiting the bold marketer's kiss to revive them. Here's our 'kiss' or 'miss' analysis.
- Fray Bentos: The brand was founded in 1899 to import corned beef from Uruguay to the UK. It quickly became a household name. Heavy TV advertising in the 70s and 80s helped the brand boost its profile further. However, it looks increasingly like an anachronism in the 21st century. MISS
- Pears: Currently being produced and managed by Hindustan Unilever, the unsupported bar soap is still available in Boots. Having strong associations with purity and gentleness, there has to be the potential for line extensions and growth.
- WD-40: The all-purpose lubricant with the big issue of getting people to use up the can they have had in the shed for about 15 years. NPD must be possible. Borderline.
- Wagon Wheels: Anyone over 40 remembers them from childhood, usually with a wistful grin and imagining them to have been bigger than they are. Today, the mallow-filled, chocolate-covered biscuits are neither one thing nor another: not substantial enough as an adult snack, not healthy enough for kids. MISS
- Camp: Yes, the coffee-and-chicory essence is still out there. Nobody seems to know why. MISS