But you'll see three computers on the floor. Bloody computers. I've got a big PC desktop downstairs in another room, then I bought a laptop (1), which was too big to carry around, then a notebook (2), which was too slow, then an iPad (3), which was a laugh for a while, and finally a Macbook Air (4), which is what we use for the Decoded workshop. And then there's the BlackBerry (5). Yes, I know, I know. But I love the keyboard and I do most of my writing on the Tube or on an exercise bike (6) at the gym.
There's the big water pistol (7). If you're going to work from home, you definitely need a top-of-the-range water pistol. This one looked amazing but I can't actually make it work.
A Starbucks cup of Yorkshire Tea (8). I'm always drinking tea or coffee. Which is probably why I can't sleep.
There's another water pistol (9). You can't have too many of these things. This one works very well.
This is my favourite picture of my kids (10), even though it was taken ages ago, when I'd just got divorced. If you get divorced (and what do I mean "if", you work in advertising), it's 17 types of hell. But stick with it. Life will get better because, quite simply, it has to.
Also on the table is a small lizard (11). Just before he set up Anomaly in New York, Johnny Vulkan came to see me in London. For some reason, he gave me a plastic lizard and told me he was giving them to everybody he met. I've kept it ever since. I may be the only person who did.
A pair of matching water pistols (12). For obvious reasons.
A Bafta (13). I pretend it's for Best Original Screenplay, but that's a complete lie. For one year only, way back when, Bafta got involved with the ad industry and gave Baftas out for ads. That year I'd written an ad with a family of nudists having a barbecue with low-fat bacon, and it won one. But that doesn't sound quite as impressive as Best Original Screenplay. If pushed, I say that the screenplay was a bleak Kafkaesque East European murder mystery, based around a family of nudists eating low-fat bacon.
Somewhere in shot is a plastic turd. When I bought my water pistols on Amazon, I was told that people who buy water pistols also buy plastic turds. So I bowed to the wisdom of the crowd. I have no idea why - I haven't found any use for mine yet.
Not visible in the picture is a pile of crack cocaine, the keys to a large yacht, and Rihanna's private phone number. That's weekends for you.
Steve Henry is a co-founder of HHCL and Decoded.