It's true I haven't, but really I don't expect to take flak for it, that seems unfair. It starts like this. He sends me a text the other day asking to know how this date some weeks ago went. The delay is for the usual reasons. He lives on the side of a hill in Derbyshire.
"So, what was the verdict on the date?" he texts.
"The verdict, no one said there was going to be a verdict, that's like 'Crime Watch'," I reply, because, you know, I'm a total wag.
"No. 'Crime Watch' comes before the verdict, give me a buzz. I heard two people go on the wrong trains home."
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