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So, how goes the jargon? Are you one of those people who still says

”wicked” when you should be saying ”phat”? Are you up to date on new-media

buzzwords, or are you still stuck in early 2000? Here’s an update on

what’s in, what’s out and what to look forward to:

e-business: Useful, because it can mean anything you like. Does it mean

”the back-end processes of e-commerce”, ”everything to do with interactive

business” or something else? Who knows? Who cares? Where two or three

e-business consultants are gathered together, there will be two or three

different definitions of e-business.

e-commerce: A bit 1999 and dangerously specific.

e-anything else: Looking a bit desperate (evidence: politicians have

cottoned on to it).

Electric commerce: impressively ahead of the curve (I just made it

up).

Clockwork commerce: even more ahead (I’ve not made it up yet).

Mobile: Hot. Use in front of any profession to gain credibility: mobile

banking, mobile retailing, mobile archaeology.

M-commerce, o-commerce, any-letter-of-the-alphabet commerce: Good when

talking to Americans and similar. Use only with self-knowing irony when

talking to normal people.

Auction: now run-of-the-mill. Avoid (see Exchange, below).

Business-to-consumer: Dreadfully 1999. Sell.

Business-to-business: Buy. Will probably be in fashion for several more

weeks.

B2c and b2b: As m-commerce, etc, above.

Exchanges, Xchanges: Very big in business-to-business. The new name for

your online auction (yes, I know they’re not the same as auctions. So

what?).

Communities: Came in in ’97, then went out. Now back, but only for

business-to-business. Can also be used instead of ”auction”.

Dotcom: Jaded. Too closely associated with business-to-consumer.

lastminute.com: Shorthand for fin de siecle (end of the good times).

Expect this to be transferred offline: ”It was the last sunny day of the

year. It was truly lastminute.com.”

Solution: Showing amazing stamina despite becoming the second-most used

word in the English language, and palpably not meaning anything. Should

probably be made illegal.

Internet: Fading fast - means you’re not focused on Mobile.

No jargon at all: Very cool. Means that you take all this stuff as just

another part of life.