Job: Vice-chairman, Ogilvy Group UK
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
I would assemble a small group of people of unlikely ethnic diversity, one of whom will later turn out to be bad. Together we would avert the catastrophe with only seconds to spare, at which point I would return home to hugs from my photogenic daughters while simultaneously being reconciled with their mother, with whom I had recently been experiencing marital difficulties. Well, it's always worked in the past, hasn't it?
- What's your best joke?
"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Philip Glass."
- What's your biggest fear?
Koumpounophobia. Well, it's certainly my longest fear.
- When did you last cry and why?
Yesterday, when making a "Salad Fred West" - an extremely manly salad of my own devising which contains an insane quantity of raw onions, so named for the eponymous Gloucester serial killer's interesting habit of eating onions as though they were apples.
- Who is your hero?
Ronald Reagan.
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know?
I lead a double life, spending part of each year as an Australian professional cyclist. (Google me if you don't believe it.)
- What's the worst thing about your job?
At the moment? You have to ask? Saying goodbye to people you don't want to lose.
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
A row of toilet cubicles partly obscured by a fat man.
- With which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
Tim Berners-Lee. Because if you really, really believe in an idea, the only thing you can do is give it away.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
I don't know. It might be amusing to dress it in a brass-buttoned tunic and a kepi, I suppose. Why are trained monkeys always dressed this way? Does anyone know?
- If your office was burning down, what would you save and why?
If our Canary Wharf office were to catch fire, I would busy myself rescuing the many valuable fire extinguishers from the building.
- Are you happy?
Personally, yes. Professionally, I hope not.