±±¾©Èü³µpk10

I’m only a punter but ... after reading the ’integrated’ article in

±±¾©Èü³µpk10 Direct (21 May), I wonder what people would say about

integration - off the record.

CEO/chairman/MD: ’I only know about real advertising, but I’ve read the

executive summary on everything else. However, as long as it’s

profitable and the people don’t cost much to bring on board, I suppose

we’ll have to. Hmmm, I might even be able to write an article in

±±¾©Èü³µpk10 about it - HQ would love that. Right then, yes, I’m all for

integration.’

Group account directors and account directors: ’If the CEO/ chairman/MD

is behind integration, then so am I. Besides, it may keep those

obnoxious little below-the-line agencies from eroding our share (why

don’t they get a life?).’

Account supervisors, managers: ’This is my chance. My really big chance.

Integration is the future. I’m the future. If I can make this work, all

eyes will be on me. I’ll never shop at Top Man again. I can ladder

climb. I can be someone.’

Account executive: ’Photo-copying. I hate photocopying. Can’t traffic do

this?’

Graduate: ’Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gimme, gimme, gimme. Yeah, yeah, yeah.’

Executive creative director: ’I don’t know about below the line. I don’t

want to know about below the line. It’s dirty. It ruins ads with a

coupon. It ruins films with a telephone number. It tries so hard to

sell. Fcuk it. I’ll make the creative director deal with it. ’

Creative director: ’Yeah, everything he said goes for me too, with an

extra fcuk it, too. I’ll get the group head to look after it.’

Creative group head of integration: ’The executive creative head and

creative director aren’t so bad. They treat me well. I even spoke to one

at the pub the other day. I’ll just keep my head down and make sure the

work is good. They’ll change their minds when we win awards.’

Middleweight creative: ’I don’t do mail - I won’t do mail. I dooo press.

And TV. So fcuk off.’

Junior creative: ’I’m happy to do anything as long as it goes into

production.’

Placement creative: ’Gimme, gimme, gimme. Yeah, yeah, yeah.’