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1. Lionel Stanbrook, the former deputy director-general of the

Advertising Association, kicks off the list for which ten entries was

not enough. He conjured up a macabre image of the European Commission

resurrecting a ban on advertising to children: "The matter isn't

necessarily dead and buried. There's still a hand sticking out of the

ground over which somebody could easily trip."

2. Mark Tutssel is clearly not a modest man. Here is his quote when he

announced his move from Leo Burnett London to its Chicago office: "Leo

Burnett London has been the jewel in the crown creatively over the past

two or three years and, naturally, the US wanted to tap into this

talent."

3. "We spoke to a stack of dwarves and they loved it," CDP's managing

director, Simon North, said of the Hamlet Miniatures posters.

4. Nick Hastings, D'Arcy's executive creative director, clearly saw

something we missed in the agency's Maltesers posters: "Like the rest of

the campaign, these ads are full of fun and frivolity, but we like to

think that they are also educative, containing invaluable advice for

young women anywhere." One ad showed a woman with a Malteser in her

belly button. The other pictured the chocolate sliding down her inner

thigh.

5. The switchboard operator at St Luke's: "Sorry, I can't put you

through to anybody at the moment. The agency's closed for spring

cleaning."

6. "People being electrocuted and just violent things, to me, are

funny." Dante Ariola, interviewed in ±±¾©Èü³µpk10 Screen.

7. Tom Nester-Smith, AMV's board account director on Dulux, clearly

needs to rent a copy of The Lover's Guide. In describing the ad in which

a woman pulls some fluff from her lover's navel to match its colour for

her walls, he said: "This case of coitus interruptus demonstrates

Dulux's understanding of what really turns a woman on."

8. An exasperated Michael Finn, the chief executive of Duckworth Finn

Grubb Waters, responding to rumours that he was about to sell the agency

to IPG: "I swear on the lives of my children that we are not talking to

McCann."

9. Lowe Lintas' associate director, Matt Edwards, said: "It's impossible

to sum up the experience of eating Megabeans with existing words, so

we've invented our own. We hope teenagers everywhere will be enjoying

'Oingy Boingy' in their mouths this summer."

10. The Meat & Livestock Commission's Paul Saunders on advertising

during the foot-and-mouth epidemic: "This is the rump end of the year

for us as far as advertising is concerned. Lamb sales aren't yet up and

running and it's a bit early for barbecues."

11. "They're below snorkel-level in shit," an unnamed financial loss

administrator said about Leagas Delaney, following the collapse of the

Envoy deal.

12. "I'm not going to be working on any advertising campaigns - I know

fuck-all about it," Bob Geldof, having announced a deal between his

events company, 10 Alps, and Osprey Communications.