When you walk into a shop, the assistant (if they are any good) sizes you up. You're a size 12. A teenager. A girl. And you look skint. They will think about their range, and offer you what they believe you will be interested in, all the time observing your reactions and using that feedback to inform what they present you with. They know that the sooner they can find something that piques your interest, the more likely it is that they will make a sale.
They might also think about the environment. It is raining and cold outside; would you like to buy a raincoat? An umbrella? Soup? They might ask you for your address, so they can write to you when they might have something of particular interest, or something that was out of stock when you came in.
This is what we tend to call good service. We love it, and we tell our friends about it.
What about when shop assistants hang around the shopping centre, and buttonhole you when they spot you going into another shop, reminding you about that shirt you picked up but didn't buy last time you were in their store?
This is a little intrusive, but it's OK. As long as they don't bug you, bore you or stalk you, you might put up with this behaviour.
While you are in the fitting room, they rifle through your handbag to find out a bit more about you. You've got a note in your diary about how you like expensive cosmetics, a message on your phone from a friend congratulating you on the new baby, an email you sent relating to your planned divorce.
When you come out, there is a Maybelline promotion by the door, a Pampers display at the end of the counter and a leaflet for a divorce lawyer by the till.
This is not good service, this is creepy. It's not illegal, though, because there was a small button by the shop door labelled 'privacy' that, had you pushed it, would have printed out a 10-page legal agreement for you.
You might not even notice the cosmetics, nappies and leaflets, but the day you do, and the day you have time to find out how they did it, you are probably not going to be very happy about it.
How you view all the 'good service' things I mentioned above is probably going to be coloured by the sense of intrusion you feel from having a stranger rummage through your bag.
You might well start to conjecture that all this good service is a bit suspicious; becoming mistrustful of the smiles, the attention, the offers to help.
Online retail is currently at a crossroads. The techniques we can apply are growing in sophistication, and some of them cross the line. Consumers are starting to become aware of these issues, partly because of the fraud threat. If we are not careful, the legitimate techniques we apply could be burned, along with the 'stalketing', on the pyre created by an opportunistic politician, industry regulator or pressure group.
Positive moves such as the Advertising Option Icon are promoted by the IAB in the US, displaying a link on banners that discloses how data is used, and allowing visitors to opt out of further behavioural targeting. Simpler and more prominent privacy disclosures are important, but self-restraint and common sense are vital.
As mobile brings the internet to our pocket, and as IP-driven set-top boxes deliver video-on-demand to our TVs, the power of data to shape the funding models for content only grows, and the threat represented by a consumer backlash broadens.
At stake is the future of media, so the steps we take now will have profound implications across the entire advertising industry, not just that bit we call the web.
Andrew Walmsley is a digital pluralist.
30 SECONDS ON ... The Advertising Option Icon
- The icon is one of several components of the US Interactive Advertising Bureau's Self-Regulatory Program for Online Behavioral Advertising.
- Other elements include: encouraging advertisers to use AboutAds.info to signal their participation in the scheme; a system of accountability and compliance enforcement; and a consumer education campaign.
- The scheme is the result of three years of work by groups including the American Association of Advertising Agencies, the Association of National Advertisers and the Direct Marketing Association, representing more than 5000 US companies.
- Web media specialist Specific Media announced earlier this month that it would start integrating the icon in all the online display advertising it distributes, with immediate effect. Chief executive Tim Vanderhook said he believed the development would help 'strengthen relationships between brands and their customers'.